


Redolent

by lcdsra



Series: LCDSRA's A-Z Soulmate Prompts [18]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26974804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcdsra/pseuds/lcdsra
Summary: /ˈredlənt/adjective1. strongly reminiscent or suggestive of (something).Or: Roksana is used to not being her own person.
Relationships: None
Series: LCDSRA's A-Z Soulmate Prompts [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935553





	Redolent

**Author's Note:**

> AU: Whatever your soulmate thinks about you is written somewhere on your body.
> 
> Character(s): Roksana  
> Relationship(s): None  
> Warning(s): Minor character death

“You look so much like your mother.”

Perhaps Roksana was like her mother. She had never met her, but her father said that to her sometimes, when she joined him in the labs. He said she had his eyes, his small, analytical eyes, but she had her mother’s face. She had her jawline and her hair and she was almost like a mini her.

Her parents were apparently both scientists when they met. They had to collaborate on a project and though they initially didn’t get along, they learned to like, then love, each other.

Then her mother got pregnant and died giving birth to her. Her father never said it, but every time he looked at her, Roksana knew she reminded him of her. Even at 5, 6, 7, she knew that he wanted her to be just like the woman she took from this world.

“Thank you.” She said, smiling up at one of the men that her father worked with. She was in their lab for the day, as her school had a break.

Before she could even read, her career was chosen for her. She loved her father, her unknown mother, but still. Maybe she could’ve been an artist, or maybe she would’ve naturally gravitated towards the sciences.

She’d never know.

: : :

Roksana’s skin sometimes appeared with words. Apparently, the words that randomly appeared and disappeared were the feelings that her soulmate had about her. She got ‘unknown’ and ‘hopefully smart’ but her soulmate didn’t think of her often.

She felt like that was a fair trade for the thoughts she had. ‘Useless’ and ‘stupid’ weren’t exactly positive words to have written on one's skin.

: : :

“You remind me of one of our science teachers. I think you’d like him.”

She was in middle school and accelerated in STEM because she just knew so much more than what was expected. Her homeroom teacher meant well, she knew.

But the fact was that she had already met all of the science teachers the school had to offer. She asked questions, sometimes, but mostly she wanted to talk about whatever topic more in-depth. It made her a favorite for some of them. It was flattering, but at the same time, she sensed they didn’t quite respect her the way she wanted.

Which was fine. She was in 6th, 7th, 8th grade, and they had years of experience on her.

“I might know him.” She said.

Roksana lied sometimes, to people, to her father. She lied about how much she enjoyed science, how much she disliked art. Sometimes something in science confused her, but her pride held her back from asking, at least directly.

She lied, most of all, about her family, though. Sometimes she said her mother was still alive but was just very busy. Sometimes she said they were divorced, which was why she wasn’t around.

Roksana found herself lying a lot more than telling the truth.

: : :

As she grew older, Roksana’s opinion of soulmates didn’t change much. She found that she rarely had time for friendships, much less relationships, and most times in her life she forgot that soulmates even existed.

Scientists, in her experience, really didn’t care for soulmates either. The phenomena was unexplainable, illogical, and didn’t follow the rules of the universe cleanly.

But sometimes she would glance at the words and hope, beyond reason, beyond logic, to find her happily ever after in them.

: : :

“You’re very much like your father.”

Roksana got into the institute that both her parents were educated at. The professor was the same one that taught them, if older and more experienced.

She got in based on a mix of merit and family past. Having two parents as alumni certainly helped her chances, and she knew that before she even stepped foot into the building, the professors had an expectation of how she should act.

Growing up watching her father work gave her an idea of what they wanted. A smart, quiet woman who simply _got it_ and they didn’t really expect her to get along with her classmates, but they expected her to get along with them.

“Thank you.” She replied, pleasantly. She smiled at the professor and left the classroom without a second glance back.

She wasn’t sure if being just like her parents were necessarily bad. They were both very accomplished, sometimes she noticed her father or mother’s name on a research study and she knew their legacies were expected to pass on to her.

It was a lot of pressure, she knew, but still, she had an idea of what she wanted to do for her future, which was much more than a lot of peers had to offer. She had security in a way they never did.

That alone might’ve been enough to alienate her from her peers, but even more so, her pride she took in her parents. She did have a natural gift for the sciences (maybe because her father taught her everything from biology to physics as a child) and she wasn’t very outgoing either.

Every move she made was noted to be an echo of one, or both, of her parents. But it was fine. There were certainly worse people to be a clone of.

: : :

Roksana didn’t exactly search for her soulmate when she became an adult. Her peers certainly did, explaining that they’d try to intentionally send hints to their soulmates so they could meet and fall in love.

She didn’t. She got herself a job immediately after graduating and dedicated her life to her work. The words on her skin scarcely appeared anymore, but the words that did often stuck around.

Words like ‘unneeded’ and ‘problematic’ certainly were around for far too long, and she wondered if that was retribution for her thoughts from her youth.

: : :

“You remind me of myself, when I was younger.”

Roksana was older and she was getting rather tired of being compared to other people. She went off the rails and quit her job because they just kept looking at her like she was her mother or father.

They also frowned upon some of her findings, as if they were too scared to see just how far science could go.

She signed up for an interview with an organization called MOON and they promised that her ideas and inventions could be utilized and tested and perfected.

She thought she did well at the interview, of course. Her heritage gave her privilege, her last name gave her credibility, and her first name, well, that was all her own.

The man who was interviewing her was honest and open about the organization. He answered her questions clearly and admitted MOON had their eye on her for a while. He was a scientist himself and struggled with credibility before because his experiments weren’t taken seriously.

“Is that a good thing?” She asked, finally. Roksana had never wondered, before, if her likeness was a good thing. She had assumed it was, in the past, but as she got older, it was clearer to see that no, maybe what she reminded people of wasn’t a good thing.

“It is.” The man replied with a smile. “I see myself in you, in that people told me to innovate, but not in _that_ way. Create, but only in a way they wanted me to.”

She almost deflated in relief but refrained. “I’m glad I’m not alone.” She was. For a long time, for the majority of her life, she felt lonely and not quite her own person.

“At MOON, everyone is special, in a way.” He said, in a quieter voice. “And I think you’d be a great addition.”

Roksana got the job. She was given a special name and her own office space and sometimes the man (whose name, it turned out, was Shane Hodge) who interviewed her would drop by and talk with her.

Her coworkers didn’t know who her father, who her mother were. They didn’t care to know either. Most had a difficult relationship with their own parents and were wary of prying too far.

She still loved both her parents, but she wondered just how different things would’ve been if her mother had survived, if her parents weren’t famous scientists, if she was just a normal kid.

But it was useless to think about the ‘what ifs’, at least in regards to her past. So instead, she looked at the ‘what ifs’ of the future.

Roksana stared thoughtfully at the young woman who was just brought in. Cress was the one to find her, but her school records didn’t exactly lend to development or medical, so he handed her to them both to do what they wanted.

This young woman could be the future, under Roksana’s work and medical’s watch. She could be the ‘what if’ that Roksana was searching for.

She tilted her head and smiled to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> You don't have to feel like a waste of space  
> You're original, cannot be replaced  
> If you only knew what the future holds  
> After a hurricane comes a rainbow
> 
> \- Firework by Katy Perry


End file.
